As a woman in my 40’s I am aware that changes can start happening to my mind and body, but I did not expect for it to hit me like a brick wall. In January of this past year I started feeling a little anxious, which is very uncommon for me. My mood has always been stable, so this was a shock. Then my blood pressure spiked and I was not sure if the anxiety was impacting my blood pressure or vice versa. There was also night sweats and at times difficulty sleeping, waking up at 3am. I started becoming very needy of my husband and not liking being alone, which is unusual for me as I have always been independent and loved my alone time. I reduced or stopped the activities I enjoyed like reading, hiking, exploring and organizing. I started working with my PCP to get my blood pressure under control. We touched on my anxiety, but I brushed it off thinking it would go away.
To help with the blood pressure and anxiety I cut out alcohol, caffeine, sugar and reduced my carb and salt intake. I started a journal to keep track of mood, food and anything else that happened during the day. I have always walked a lot, but I increased my distance, making a point to go out on my lunch break, as well as after work.
One weekend I could not shake the panic and feelings of anxiety. My blood pressure was spiking and I could not get it down no matter what I did. I went for a walk, tried lavender oil, meditation and support from my husband. I looked at my husband and said, “I think I need to call our doctor.” We have a concierge provider who is on call for urgent needs. I called and got one of my providers colleagues. She was wonderful. She talked to me for 30 minutes, increased my blood pressure medication and prescribed an as needed anti-anxiety medication. On Sunday she texted me to see how I was doing, which I appreciated.
Monday morning I woke up to my period. This made me question what was going on with my hormones. That afternoon I saw my PCP with my husband. After an hour discussion it was determined that at the age of 41 I was in perimenopause. The ups and downs in sleep, anxiety and night sweats were the signs. My blood pressure meds could also impact my motivation and energy. My PCP recommended a mood stabilizer to help with the anxiety, but I did not want another medication. Having an answer and a good discussion with her really helped.
I wanted to check in with my OBGYN to get her thoughts so I sent her a message through the medical portal with the symptoms I had been experiencing. She wanted to see me, so I scheduled a telehealth visit about a week away.
I noticed the week of my period I felt better than I had in a while and felt more like myself. I let some of my healthy habits slip, like having caffeine and more salt and carbs than I had been having. A few days later I noticed my anxiety slowly coming back and tied it to the food and drinks I was having. I went back to reducing or eliminating sugar, salt, caffeine and alcohol.
I met with my OBGYN and she confirmed that I was in perimenopause and said she has many women come to her saying they feel like they are crawling out of their skin and struggling with perimenopause symptoms. She was very happy with the lifestyle changes I had made in addition to losing about 20 pounds. My OB knows I do not like to take medication, but highly recommended a medication to help with anxiety and night sweats, which were my two biggest complaints. She reminded me that I should not suffer when there is support out there. I had already done so much, but I needed a little extra support. I agreed to take a low dose of anti anxiety medication that also helped with night sweats.
During this time I also decided to see a therapist. I work in the social service field with an emotionally challenging population and I was questioning if my anxiety was being triggered by my career. I saw the therapist twice, she had a couple suggestions for me, but overall did not feel she had a lot to add to what I was already doing for self care.
I continued to work on myself. I walk at lunch and then again after work. I keep lavender oil on me at all times. I continue to work on my eating habits. I talk or meet with my doctors as needed. I force myself to do activities, even though at times all I wanted to do with sit on the couch and watch television. When I feel the anxiety creeping up I go for a walk, talk to my husband, talk with a friend or do something to try to keep my mind occupied.
I started talking to other women about perimenopause. It amazed me how many women have struggled with this. They either never got help, their doctors did not listen to them or they just pushed it off to the side. There were several women who ended up going on medication to help with the symptoms. They all told me not to suffer and encouraged me to continue with the medication. Something amazing happened after I started talking to other women, I got this whole new support system. These women have become my lifeline on the difficult days whether I am at work and need someone to talk or sit with or at home and need to text with someone or have a friend to go for a walk with.
Over the next couple months I continued to work on my health and check in with my health care providers as needed. I tracked how I was feeling and what I was doing. I had my follow up appointment with my OBGYN after starting my anti-anxiety medication. I noticed that I had not had night sweats in a couple weeks. My sleep had improved. My anxiety was not as bad as the weekend I had to reach out to my PCP, but it was still there and disruptive to my life. It was worse the week or two before my period. I had lost over 30lbs, was continuing to adjust my eating habits and walking daily. After some research I started acupuncture. My OBGYN was very happy with the progress I was making and the lifestyle changes I had done. She liked my mixture of eastern and western therapies. She said she could increase my anti-anxiety medication or I could increase it just the two weeks before my period. I decided I wanted to try the acupuncture. We also discussed herbs and she recommended one, but I needed to reach out to my PCP to get her ok too. It was left that I would reach out as needed until my yearly follow up in December.
I reached the third or fourth month of going through these symptoms. The week before my period my anxiety spiked again to the point that one night I could not sleep or shut my mind off no matter what I did. I ended up taking the low dose as needed anxiety med and it put me right to sleep and I had no issues the next morning. I am thankful to have this as needed medication as at times I have waves of panic. For the most part I am able to work through it.
I got approval from my PCP to take the herbal supplement that my OBGYN had recommended and I started it. I continue to talk to other women about this and love the suggestions I get. One of my favorites is humming, it helps with my anxiety. I find myself humming more than ever. I am continuing with weekly acupuncture. I am down 45 pounds and continue to work on my eating and exercise habits. My husband and friends have been my biggest supporters, somedays bringing me to tears with their support. I need to add strength training as I heard it helps with perimenopausal symptoms. With my lifestyle changes I have been able to reduce my blood pressure medication in hopes that will reduce some of the foggy moments I have. I have the goal to get off it, but am not going to push it. I am thankful for having supportive health care providers. They both listen to me, my needs and my goals and wishes. I am by no means back to myself, but having insight to my feelings and symptoms along with good self care and a good support system is helping me manage perimenopause a little easier. I was hesitant to share my perimenopausal story, but after talking with others, women need to know they are not alone and not going crazy. Us women need to talk and support each other through this. I would love to hear from other women how they are getting through this stage of life.
I have written a second blog post with an Update on how I am doing.
*I did not disclose the medication or supplements I am taking as I am not a medical professional. Please consult your health care providers if you are having symptoms.
